on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
"if you’re straight then why did you say she was hot"
yo i’m straight not blind
One time a nun at my school saw a hot guy and said “woah God did a nice job on that one” and we all looked at her like ??? and she goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”
Dylan switching from teary-eyed son to cheeky fox within .26560 seconds
MY PARENTS LEFT ME HOME ALONE FOR THE WEEK EVERYONE COME OVER FOR A HUGE PARTY
update: it’s been 5 minutes and i’m walking around my house just in my underwear and moon shoes, party is getting pretty wild
my teacher in class the other day said “Make sure you don’t do things on the internet you might regret, because they will most likely affect your future badly” then my good friend just looked at me and whispered really quietly “Moon shoes…”